Nightmare On Elm St (2010)

9,10…you will sleep again -right through this movie! I only have one question for Samuel Bayer.  Why do you hate us?  Why do you despise the viewing audience so much that you would direct the most poorly put together Nightmare on Elm Street that exists to date?  I’m not a fan of remakes, but with all the new technology and CGI, I was pretty stoked about the possibility of a really cool version of one of my favorite horror movies ever.  Man, was I mistaken. I rushed to the theatre with some skepticism because Robert Englund wasn’t playing Freddy Krueger, but I thought maybe a different actor could portray a different side of Freddy.  Jackie Earle Haley showed us that Freddy was in fact no longer humorous, completely unimaginable in his killing, and well, just stupid looking.  Don’t worry Jackie, we don’t blame you for the fact that they made Freddy look like a burnt alien type creature whose eyes somehow made it to the side of his head or the badly written script.  However, you must be held accountable for the poor acting skills and the useless attempt at having an intimidating voice.

The rest of the actors don’t even bear mentioning since their acting skills were so mediocre that I’ve already forgotten all of them.  Of course, if they had been given a script that hadn’t been written by what I can only assume to be Samuel Bayer’s worst enemy, things might have been different.

This sorry attempt at a remake stole 2 hours from me that I’ll never be able to retrieve.  I actually raced home after the movie and put in the original just to help myself forget the horrendous pile of crap that I had just witnessed.  If I had eight thumbs, they’d all be down.

Scream Queen

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