The Haunted Hotel Review 2013

Prepare to be threatened, throttled and thrilled in one of the most intense and longest running haunted attractions in the Ville!

Now in its 24th season at 3000 S 4th Street, The Haunted Hotel has earned its reputation as one of Louisville’s top rated haunted attractions, and this year owner/operator, Kevin Stitch, has apparently lost his mind completely. He has the let the maniacs loose to run the asylum and the results are clear from the minute you check in. This haunt is not for the timid.

As soon as you step inside, you’ll be greeted up close and personally by a fez wearing front desk clerk who will escort you into the elevator for the journey to your room. I knew I was in for a rough ride right away when the “bellboy” grabbed me by the throat, pushed me up against the wall and began to strangle me. The last time I was strangled with that much force, I was having my picture taken with KaneJasonHodder at a horror convention.

The bumpy ride continued when this silk stocking-mask wearing freak pushed the elevator button and the whole car plummeted to our certain doom. Then the lights went out, and when they came back on again I discovered my tormentor apparently had the powers of Spider-man.

As soon as the elevator doors opened, a massive psychopath stepped forward and put his machete to my throat. This was only the first of several machetes, knives and cleavers that would be held against my throat in the next few agonizing minutes.

I hope you’re getting the picture here. Not only will you be touched and grabbed, you will also likely be strangled, poked and prodded by various scary looking weapons. The Haunted Hotel is clearly pushing the boundaries of physical haunt tactics and seems to be in serious competition with Industrial Terrorplex for “most intense haunt.” You have been warned.

The Haunted Hotel isn’t just about physical abuse, however, it also delivers a number of impressive animatronics. I was certainly startled by a huge drop wall that reveals a raging monster about the size of the Incredible Hulk. The man eating plants by the staircase are also visually amazing, and they really chomp close to your extremities. The special effects used this year also include simulated machine guns.

I’ve always loved the house on South 4th Street, but it was always a little too small to build a haunted house that would be over ten minutes long. Kevin Stich and his crew have solved that problem by building a huge outdoor maze next to the main building. You’ll run through trailers, ambulances and other structures as you navigate the maze while being attacked by zombies from above and below.

This is also where you’ll come under attack from an army of chainsaw maniacs. I have no idea if there were ten chainsaw maniacs in relentless pursuit of our group through the entire maze or if the same three or four chainsaw maniacs kept sneaking around corners and attacking us again. Let’s just say there are a legion of chainsaw maniacs that will hound you without mercy until you’re half a block from the exit.

The Haunted Hotel is open all October from Thursday through Sunday. Hours for Thursdays and Sundays are from 8PM until Midnight. Friday and Saturday hours are from 8PM until 2AM. The Haunted Hotel is also open the Wednesday night before Halloween (All Hallows Eve) from 8PM until Midnight and on Halloween, October 31st, from 8PM until Midnight.

The Phantom of The Ville

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